A Mischief Of Magpies

If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and a Mischief of Magpies would be as small as a pea.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Greetings and Salutations

I've been invited here to contribute to this blog. Ordinarily I would read the damn thing before I started posting, but I'm at work, and I'm really supposed to be ordering flowers for my boss who forgot to send them to his girlfriend's father's wake tonight.

Dumbass.

So here I am, kids. The Coconut, at your service. I must say I'm a little disappointed that I didn't win "Person of the Year" on this blog. Just because I wasn't here when the awards were handed out is really no excuse.

My mother-in-law, who knows I am a vegetarian, is planning to make the Thanksgiving stuffing with sausage and chicken broth. She offered to make a separate one without the stuffing. I asked her if she was planning to substitute the chicken broth as well. She said "No, chicken broth really isn't meat so you can eat it."

Thanks for informing me that I can eat the broth of dead birds whilst remaining vegetarian. I hadn't known that.

Well, a little bit about me, and then you can leave a little bit about you in the comments.

As you've seen above, I'm a vegetarian for ethical reasons. The older I get, the more I turn into a hippy. But if I start using that Aveda hair stuff that makes you smell like trees, you have my full permission to sell me into sexual bondage to Dick Cheney.

I'm also young, recently married, very girly (there's nothing better than shiny lips and shiny hair, people, and I will judge you according to how shiny your lips and hair are), and EXTREMELY opinionated, as you will soon find out and likely begin to regret having invited me here.

Does this blog have a theme? Or can I just keep rambling?

Anyway.

By way of further introduction, I offer you The Llama Song. Enjoy, my lovely bunch of Coconuts.

You kids seem alright. I'll hang around awhile, as long as this doesn't suck.

-K.

4 Comments:

At 9:27 pm, Blogger ill man said...

Evening. Post what you want really, no rules as such. Opinionated is good, we like a good arguement.

neither my lips nor my hair are shiny. What should I do?

 
At 9:42 pm, Blogger CoconutCain said...

If your hair and your lips are not shiny, you should immediately go outside and make valiant attempts to get run over by a large van or small bus.

Should those attempts fail, purchase C.O. Bigelow's Mentha Lip Shine and Frederic Fekkai's Glossing Creme.

Trust me, kids, I'm an expert in the field of lubrication.

-K.

 
At 12:08 pm, Blogger Paul B said...

And Person of the Year award nominations are still open. Feel free to join in, people.

 
At 4:46 am, Blogger PROFESSOR SMILE said...

Brilliant intruction. Thanks for the llama song. Teach yourself Scottish:
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/worms

 

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