A Mischief Of Magpies

If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and a Mischief of Magpies would be as small as a pea.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Angst

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My angst comes slower now, spasmatically. I look at it right now, I used to look through it or around it. It's kind of like seeing the hidden image in those magic-eye puzzles that were popular in the ninties. It's the thing that gives you road rage, when an asshole cuts you off, it's the accelerator on the pedal, a quickness in the step.





Impatience becomes instinct becomes action. Everything becomes more, each sensation is magnified twice, each action comes out to my horror ten times faster, I watch it happen stand back in horror and see it occur. I get a warning, a physical indication, slight and telling that it's arrived. It's not rational. A boundary orintated beast that makes me grit my teeth when I should smile. My internal dialogue goes all screwy when the angst comes. I say rude and bad things out of reaction and fear to myself about myself and others. A part of me sits back mute and gapes at the horror.






If I can get this feeling out at will, kick it out, push it out the door, paitence and peace will be mine. Tonight, I'm praying for knowledge understanding and patience, so I can share it.

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