A Mischief Of Magpies

If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and a Mischief of Magpies would be as small as a pea.

Monday, December 19, 2005

You Can't POSSIBLY Let That Man Paint OUR Queen.......!!!!

Why the fuck not?

I awoke this morning with the radio blaring away like a bastard in the kitchen. My folks leave the blasted thing on just to annoy me, i'm sure of it. Anyway, I abhor noise in the morning, so it get's turned off immediately. Thing is, it was louder than usual today, mainly because there was some berk who obviously had no idea of how to modulate his voice flapping his gums about how awful it was that Rolf Harris was painting the Queen.

Needless to say I turned it off and had my shower. As the day wore on though, it started to bug me. Just what the hell is wrong with Rolf painting the Queen? If anyone should have painted the Queen by now, it's Rolf. Ok, so he may well be an ordinary painter but hells teeth, he's just painting a picture of a rather dull woman who more often or not looks a bit constipated. Surely capturing HRH at her egg-bound best can't be the hardest thing he's ever had to do. Going on some of the truly shite portraits she's had done in the past, I reckon he can't fail.

This snobbery seems to be the same garbage that gets flung Jack Vettriano's way. "How dare you call yourself an ARTIST you self taught troglodyte"

To read some of the garbage spouted about this, you'd think the guy could barely hold a paintbrush. I think these adequately prove that whilst the man is no master painter by any stretch of the imagination, he's more than capable of knocking up a decent sketch of the old trout.

As a wise man once said, Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke...................


At 10:58 pm, Blogger Clairwil said...

Is HRH a worthy subject for Rolf Harris? Thats the real question.

At 11:30 pm, Blogger ill man said...

Fair point I suppose. I get the impression Rolf is actually a very good mimick of styles. Thing is, if I were Queen, i'd outlaw this farce. Can you think of anything more tedious than sitting for several hours whilst an over enthusiastic Australian/egotistical art bore attempts to capture your image for the millionth fucking time? There are things even a Queen would rather be doing, surely?

At 12:03 pm, Blogger GlasgowGigolo54 said...

Yeah, well, according to what I saw - a tiny print - he's done her up grinning nicely in a green wool cardie just like Dear Old Nana Moon, wot's just kicked it in East-Enders! Any 80-year old woman would be flattered by Rolfie's likeness. I heard on Radio 36DD that he had to stop in the middle of painting the Old Gel when Her Most Gracious Majesty Imperiously Commanded him to remind her of the good old days of reigning over Abos by playing a piece on the Wobble-Board and Didgeridoo. The portrait colours are "very good". I reckon he'll get at least 500 Guineas for it!


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