A Mischief Of Magpies

If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and a Mischief of Magpies would be as small as a pea.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Scotland Welcomes Graham Rix With Open Arms


A few things that have been annoying me over the past few days. Thought I'd annoy you lot with them too.

As bizarre situations go, it doesnt get much more bizarre than the goings on at Heart Of Midlothian FC in the past few weeks. The latest twist in the story is the appointment of Graham Rix as team coach. Rix had spent some years floating around in the English leagues doing nothing of any note in managerial terms, before being invited to come to Hearts. He also spent six months at Her Majesties Pleasure. The situation that saw him imprisoned involved a fifteen year old girl a few weeks shy of her sixteenth birthday. The events on record as to what occured are detailed in prosaic, but presumably accurate form here.

The problem arises of course when such a man is dropped without a parachute, map or compass into the goldfish bowl that is Scottish football, the Scottish media and of course, the Scottish 'tut-tutting fishwife' mentality that still hangs around the nation like a stale background odour that you can't quite identify. Football fans are greatly adept at taking any innuendo or rumour surrounding someone and turning it into an abusive terrace chant. All good clean fun most of the time. The problems lie for Rix with the fact that he has a conviction, is on the sex offenders register and most football fans couldnt care less that the girl was virtually at the age of consent. He will forever be the "Dirty Peedo" in charge at Hearts.

The other problem for Hearts fans is of course that they were expecting a high profile name to take over from George Burley who had given them their best start to a season in 20 years. Instead they get a failed manager who has a criminal record for having sex with a minor. Anyone would think the clubs new Lithuanian owner Vladimir Romanov was dead set on destroying the club from the top down.

It is of course rumoured that Mr Romanovs interpreter has recently been bulleted. Apparently Romanov was after six defenders.....................

Oh dear............ Stan Boardman would be proud.



My second subject tonight is people who attack emergency services. Ok, a no brainer really and i'll keep it brief, but what in the name of christ is going on the heads of these fuckwits?

The story a few days ago in the Glasgow Evening Times about a paramedic team being attacked by a couple of local vermin left me slightly bewildered. The paramedics had to leave the scene and the person they were attending. They were attending to a friend of the two men who attacked them. I'm not even going to attempt to unpick the reasoning that led to the incident.

So, why paramedics? Fire crews already suffer at the hands of wee ned scum who set something ablaze and want to see the fucker burn without firemen spoiling their hour of fun. Firemen also travel in fuck off big lorries, so theres something to chuck stuff at...................They think it's a game.

Attacking paramedics and hospital staff though seems to be a serious psychosis afflicting the stupid, the criminal and the drunk and insensible across the nation, leading them to believe that those trying to help them are worthy of the worst they have to offer.