A Mischief Of Magpies

If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and a Mischief of Magpies would be as small as a pea.

Friday, December 16, 2005

I go for penguins



I saw March Of The Penguins today. It's being hailed by all kinds of right-wing Christian "family" values organisatoins in America as an endorsement of their monogamous, heterosexual, family lifestyle. I say "I think I can smell shite !" This is a perfect example of people taking what they want from something and ignoring anything contradictory, even when it comes from the same source.

First of all, let's talk about the monogamy. It says right at the start that penguins are monogamous, in a way, because they only mate with one partner a year. So they get knocked up by one penguin one year and another the next and so on and so forth. If this were a human, the religious nutters would be in an uproar. Six children by six different fathers ? Tsk, tsk.

Next, let's talk about sexuality. How you get from a bunch of penguins procreating to people claiming this proves homosexuality is wrong I don't know. Are penguins the be all and end all of civilization ? Should we be using them as a blueprint for our own lives ? Let's all pack up and move to Antartica and eat fish. There are plenty of things that other species do that we wouldn't dream of (eat our young, for example). There is absolutely no connection.

Now we come to the family. Aww, aren't they sweet, the way they pair up and huddle together ? Oh, look they're shagging ! Oh, there's an egg ! Dad's taking his turn now and, hang on, wait a minute. Mum's going off to eat ? For a couple of months ? You mean Dad's got to look after the egg all on his own ? Oh, look she's come back. Yay ! Now what ? Dad's going off to eat ? For a couple of months as well ? Sheesh. Penguins spend most of their time alone with the baby, taking it in turns. Not at all a stable arrangement for humans eh ? Then, when the baby is old enough, they just abandon it and never see it again. Definitely not the kind of behaviour we're looking for in parents. I'd like to see some of these conservative red-blooded men spending as much time looking after their kids as male penguins do. But they wouldn't stand for the "little lady" going off and providing for them, would they ?

Penguins are adorable. They're just not role models. Get over it, loony tunes.

Oh No, Glasgow Kids On Drugs! (Aargh, etc)