And you can stick your Haggis up there too.
Fuck Burns Night.
Fuck it in the ear.
As far as I'm concerned it's just a piss poor excuse for people I hate to read me bad (non lesbian, for once) poetry, drink copious amounts of whiskey and talk in an accent I don't understand.
No one has a Sylvia Plath night, do they!
There's a REASON for that.
It's because ALL poetry is shit.
But it's ESPECIALLY shit because all the 'well known' and highly regarded British poets are male.
Because of COURSE if women write a poem they are just full of 'whimsy' and are being 'overly sensitive' or 'have too much time on their hands' and 'what-are-they-doing-out-of-the-kitchen-anyway-shouldn't-they-be-making-me-dinner-or-putting-the-kids-to-bed?'
It's like cooking. A bloke cooks and he's a fucking 'chef'. A woman does it and it's just what she's programmed to do.
Stick Burns Night and all your crap poetry up your stinking, misogynist, anti-English bumholes, you bunch of alcoholics.
And don't EVEN get me started on St Patrick's Day...