A Mischief Of Magpies

If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and a Mischief of Magpies would be as small as a pea.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I Fought The Law And The Law Rolled Over And Said Bugger Me Big Boy!

Is it me? Is it? Can you believe the effrontery of this blue nosed little beast? Can you believe the lunacy of a legal system that indulges his little whims? I am of course referring to self confessed car thief Alexander McLeod of Drumoyne, Glasgow who has had his forthcoming court date rearranged to allow him to go to Spain and watch a Rangers game.

The filthy, thieving, little hun is very lucky I'm not in charge of these things. Very lucky indeed! If I were the Sheriff I'd have made him clean the gents at Parkhead with a toothbrush. Then I'd have made him walk up and down the pitch at half time during all home Celtic games in a Rangers strip and stockings whilst the crowd pelted him with shit and half eaten pies. Then I'd have sent him to prison for the original offence. Then I'd have waited for him to be released and hit him in the face with a half brick. I am a reasonable person, I only wish to see justice done.

Honestly any sheriff worth his salt would have kicked him in the stones for even suggesting he be allowed to leave the country, let alone attend a football game. What next? Paedophiles being allowed to leave their trial early to catch the schools coming out? Drunk drivers having their trial postponed to let them sleep off a nasty hangover? I do hope so I'd hate to see any criminal inconvenienced. That would be simply dreadful.

If anyone comes across the little criminal in Spain I urge you to drown him. Oh yes and I hope Rangers get humped.