How Not to get Banned from Woolworths
“I always say what I think.” she says. And so did he and her. It's the fashion. These days, apparently, everyone is saying what they think. What’s more, they’re informing us of their intention to do this before going on to unleash their promised enlightenment.
Take Channel 4’s Big Brother for example. A typical conversation between two housemates will go like this.
Twat 1: I always say what I think.
Twat 2: So do I. I always say what I think.
Twat 1: We have so much in common.
So what exactly is the point in saying what you think? And more to the point, shouldn’t we assume that people are saying what they are thinking without having to be told they’re going to first. It’s completely impractical to say something you’re not thinking anyway, and sort of a little fucking strange.
What you probably want to say to me now is. “Look you tosser, all they mean is they’re not afraid to say something to somebody that might offend them.”
Fair enough. But I think if you’re going to make a special point of announcing that you always say what you think, you do have to always do it. Always! You should be providing a continuous commentary of your every thought.
Walk up to old people and say “You’ve got dry skin and you’re going to die shortly.” Walk up to Tony Blair and say “Much as I enjoy slagging you and George Bush off after work in ‘All Bar One’ I don’t have the first clue about Politics.“ Walk into Woolworths and shout out loudly “It really is a bit shit in here really isn’t it!”
I think it would be best for everyone, if we didn’t commit ourselves into any particular pattern of saying things. It’s a lot easier all round and you wont get banned from Woolworths.